Bad Devotee

A month ago, I was very active and devout in my worship, but I’ve reached a point, as I am prone to do…where whenever I make progress, there’s a roadblock.

I came down with first, a cold…now, possibly bronchitis. (I’m especially prone to bronchitis or pneumonia whenever I come down with something minor like a cold or flu.) I never know the rules around these things. I read somewhere that it’s not appropriate to approach the shrine while ill. So I’ve stopped all worship currently.

This is probably setting me back. I slip into more mundane thought-patterns, away from the gods and devotion.

Here’s the weird thing and I feel funny sharing it: I felt a sense of relief about it. I think that’s just because my ‘demons’ or kleshas or whatever is propping up my ego abhors anything remotely close to responsibility or spiritual/mental/physical health. They want me to stop because worship keeps them at bay.

Fortunately, I worship a god who is the Lord who removes obstacles. Once I’m physically better, which will hopefully be soon, worship will re-commence.

~ by sacredblasphemies on 10/14/2016.

2 Responses to “Bad Devotee”

  1. I don’t know anything about your tradition, but if you just “read somewhere” that approaching while ill is a bad idea, might divination help clarify if that’s really the best course?

    • Really good question.
      Divination to determine a deity’s wishes or will isn’t a thing in Shaktism to my knowledge. But without a teacher or group or established tradition, I don’t really know. At any rate, I don’t have many contacts in this tradition, and no diviners. I’ve used the services of diviners within the polytheist communities but they or their spirits don’t exactly have a relationship with Hindu deities. So it’s a bit of a strange area as I have one foot in Western polytheism and the other in Shakta Hinduism.

      From what I can gather, it’s simply expected that when worship is done in the traditional fashion and with bhakti (devotion), the god or gods will accept the worship. (Though often there is a prayer to forgive any mistakes as we do not know the ‘correct’ way to worship.)

      Hopefully, I’ll be well enough soon to recommence worship.

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